Even J. Lo Will Be Afflicted with Old Age Soon

BREAKING NEWS?

But just because she’s old that won’t mean she’s “elderly”

Two American women made headlines over the weekend. Both were notable because of the way the press described them. Or, depending on your perspective, failed to describe them.

The other weekend “newsmaker” keeps popping up in my feed. She remains anonymous, except for two details.

The poor woman perished after falling in a pond and being attacked by alligators. Oh, and she’s been identified by scribes not by her name, address, or accomplishments. The only description readers have to go on is that the victim was allegedly “elderly.”

Both stories aggravated me in no small part because of the various details appended to their identities. It’s just weird to me what the media deems “news” these days.

At the risk of repeating “celebrity” tidbits ad nauseam, the new Mrs. Affleck has been married four times. Oh, and this is her second attempt at finding happiness with hubby Ben. The two suffered a broken engagement 20 years ago. But who’s counting?

I don’t have much to impart about the victim in the gator attack. She was walking on a golf course. Near Tampa. Close to a water hazard, which of course lived up to its name — because she fell in and met her gruesome fate.

Oh, and she was “elderly.”

That word has always been a red flag in my vocabulary. When I hear the “E” Word, I think impaired. Sickly. Stooped. Doddering. Feeble. Beyond unsteady.

I don’t think of a retiree, out for a vigorous round of golf, looking for her lost ball near a pond. Or a senior citizen, who rejects that one-size-fits-all label because she goes on several brisk walks weekly at her local course.

Neither of these descriptions, I believe, jibes with “elderly.” When someone invokes the “E” Word, I don’t envision such a person in pursuit of a…

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